


(you don't know what it feels like) to fall in love with you

by flustraaa



Series: the one where they're in college [11]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Abuela Trueblood makes so good cookies bruh, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Besties Alec and mags, Gen, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Maryse Lightwood Redemption, Oblivious Alec Lightwood, Oblivious Magnus Bane, Sleepy Alec Lightwood, Sleepy Magnus Bane, Soft bfs who arent bfs yet, everyones friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-05-28 08:38:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19390498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flustraaa/pseuds/flustraaa
Summary: magnus meets the family and realises each day that he’s just a little more in love with his best friend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> make sure to follow me on Twitter @flustraaa

Magnus stirs to the land of the living when he feels Alec’s warm hand settle on his shoulder.

“Hey, there you are,” Alec simpers, lips quirked up adorably, “Everyone’s inside already, we’re here.”

“Oh,” Magnus mutters, glancing around before clicking his seatbelt free from the holder— his voice sounds drowsy even to him, “Right. What time is it?”

Alec glances down at his watch, “Six, my parents said they waited on supper though— which is rare for my mother, but I’m not going to question it.”

Alec closes the door, and Magnus’ bleary eyes find the blanket that Alec must have draped over him, and he tries to fumble his way out from under it. The door opens and he almost falls out, the majority of his body leaning on it. But Alec catches him, as he always does, and helps Magnus out of the baby blue death trap, folding it before swinging Magnus’ backpack over his shoulder.

“Do I need to get my—“ Magnus starts around a yawn, taking Alec’s hand prior to easing himself out of his best friends car.

“Already got it, look at me.” Alec tilts Magnus face towards him, brushing off what Magnus assumes to be stray traces of mascara.

“Do I look like a mess?” Magnus grumbles, trying to catch a glance of himself in the mirror, to which Alec only turns Magnus face towards him once more. There’s a reassuring smile on his lips, and he shakes his head in negation.

“You could never,” He declares simply, clearly oblivious to the rush of affection and waves of butterflies he sets to life in Magnus’ stomach, “Now, hurry, mom and Luke await.”

Magnus takes Alec’s outstretched hand, gripping it tightly as they exchange brief banter on the walk up to Alec’s childhood palace of a home.

“Is Robert going to...?” Magnus begins, heart sinking at the way Alec’s shoulders slump slightly.

“Uh, no.” Alec clears his throat, looking anywhere but Magnus, “He’s on honeymoon with Anne-Marie.”

“Alec, I’m so sorry—“ Magnus starts, only to be cut off by warm eyes and a fond smile.

“Don’t worry about it,” Alec soothes, “You had no way of knowing. It’s alright.”

Magnus’ lips quirks into a tiny, grateful grin, squeezing Alec’s hand as they walk.

It’s only as they take their shoes off in the foyer that Magnus halts Alec’s movements, “Alexander— are those?”

“My Abuela’s chocolate chip cookies? Yeah,” he proclaims, squeezing Magnus hand, “You have nothing to worry about, Magnus. I’m going to go set your stuff in my room for you to grab later. Go talk to them, they’ve only heard good things... actually I don’t know what Jace has told them—Hey!”

Alec yelps upon Magnus’ sudden hand-on-shoulder-contact, giggling after recognising the playfulness behind the deed.

“It’s a room full of people you know,” Alec nods, not breaking eye contact, “And they love everyone— except my dad, but that’s irrelevant.”

“Your mother—“ Magnus starts, fear seeping into his voice, but Alec cuts through the doubt.

“Is a changed woman, who- I might add, will be wooed by you calling her mamá the same way you made fun of me when you heard me talking on the phone with her,” Alec whispers, “I will be back in less than five minutes. Go in for the hugs. They love it.”

“Five minutes?” Magnus inquires, trying to force the anxiousness out.

“Five minutes. I promise. You can do this.”

Magnus nods, steeling himself as he walks down the hall. He’s immediately greeted by so many faces he can’t count them on one hand. It hits Magnus in that moment that this must be a small portion of Alexander’s extended family.

“Magnus!” Isabelle exclaims, as if seeing the horrified glance Magnus looks at the group with.

“Hello, Darling,” Magnus grimace hugging her before hugging Solomon, moving through the pack until he reaches Maryse.

“Mamá!” He blurts, remembering Alec’s suggestion before freezing. He waits a brief second and she spurs to life, wrapping him in a warm hug.

“Magnus!” She grins, eyes tracing over him, “Oh sweetheart, you look great! Better than I’d imagined.”

“Alec doesn’t _shut up_ about you,” Max grunts, mouth full of tamale, and suddenly Magnus can see the resemblance to Jace.

Heat rises to Magnus cheeks, but he doesn’t think much of it, continuing down the line of hugs just as Alec waltzes back into the kitchen. He too, moves down the line of affection stopping at the end to wrap an arm around Magnus and bring him closer to his side.

“It smells amazing mamá,” Alec hums, beaming, “And I’m starving.”

A chaotic chant of aggrements pours from the lightwoods and friend’s mouths, and soon enough Magnus is sitting at the table between Alec and Isabelle, listening to the stories of adventures of the lightwood clan.

Magnus sees motion on his plate and he’s about three seconds from slapping Alec’s fingers away from his food when he realises Alec is swapping their enchiladas.

“Alexander what...” Magnus begins, only to be abridged by Alec’s quick response.

“These are enchiladas de pollo,” he murmurs, the Spanish dialect that Magnus hadn’t realised he’d inherited peeking through, “You hate chicken, so I have the meatless ones for you.”

Magnus’ eyes must portray the warmth in his heart because when Alec looks up at him his cheeks flush, and Magnus realises that the entire table has gone silent, watching them.

“So,” Alec’s grandmother grins, “When is the wedding.”

And then, _dinner goes to shit._

  
Hours later, Alec is laying on the bed, cocooned in his childhood duvet. His arm is dangling precariously from the edge of the bed; Magnus, on the other hand, is filling out his homework in the safety of Alec’s room while he hears the excited and slightly drunken laughter and conversations downstairs.

The door creeks open, and Magnus is obliged to turn. He glances up to see Maryse standing the the doorway, a soft and fully endeared smile covering her lips as she looks at her eldest son.

“Oh, _Mijo_ ,” She susurrates, eyes swimming with unshed tears, “You haven’t changed.”

Her hands cross over her heart in a fond matter, and she sniffs before turning to Magnus.

It’s truly a testament to how much she’s grown in the past years, he remembers when he has waltzed into Jace’s room for help on a math problem and found instead Alec unable to breathe because they had gotten into a fight.

“He used to fall asleep like that as a toddler; arm dangling off my shoulder and a thumb in his mouth,” Maryse coos, stepping closer until she can comb a finger through her baby boy’s hair.

His lips quirk up at the touch, in brevity. They soon fall again and he lapses back into a chorus of sleepy breaths.

“Anyways,” She moves along, sitting on the edge of the bed before Magnus, “Did Alec tell you you’ll be staying in here with him?”

Magnus feels his lips part, and she takes this as her answer, quickly stating, “I can get Jace to blow up an air mattress—“

“Misses— _Mamá_ ,” He corrects at the glower she sends his direction, “I am completely fine with sleeping besides my best friend.”

She nods, a twinkle of emotion Magnus can’t place sparkling behind her eyes before she whispers, “Alright. Well, now that that’s sorted. Goodnight, Magnus.”

“Goodnight,” Magnus parrots back.

“Oh, and sweetheart?” She inquires, poking her head through the ajar door, “You’re good for him.”

And then she’s out the door, and Magnus is left feeling like he’s on top of the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> make sure to follow me on Twitter @flustraaa

When Magnus’ eyes flutter open, golden rays are streaming in above the bed and he has to blink a few times to focus. Soon after, he moves to roll out of bed and quickly finds he’s pinned to the mattress by a weight that’s never been there before.

For a fleeting moment, he forgets that he is at Alec’s childhood him and a wave a panic goes through him. There was a brief span of time when he feared he’d had a one night stand, but then he’d looked down at the person and his stomach whirred to life with butterflies.

Alec lies on his side, an arm and leg thrown haphazardly over Magnus, and head resting on his chest and gentle snores fall from his lips. Magnus can’t help but laugh softly, lips quirking up into a soft smile before combing his fingers through his best friend’s hair.

He knows for a fact, that if Alec wakes up with himself cuddling the daylights out of Magnus he’ll pray to god for a sinkhole to swallow him.

So, in utmost care for his best friend’s feelings, he gently slips out from under Alec’s tentacles of limbs and pulls the blanket back up to Alec’s chin. The law student immediately takes the duvet between his fists, curling up his lanky ass giraffe extremities, before shoving his face into Magnus’ pillow.

Magnus coos, the word adorable running through his head like a broken record.

Magnus slips into the bathroom, belatedly thinking of a tweet that said something along the lines, ‘ _kids who grew up with a bathroom attached to their rooms are another type of privileged_ ’, before shaking his head. He tries for about twelve minutes to turn on the shower. However, he eventually gives up and deciding to wash his face and use try shampoo. He’ll ask Alec when he wakes up.

After freshening up, he exits the bathroom, still wearing a pair of sweats (that are may be Alec’s), and a shirt that is most certainly Alec’s.

He exits the bathroom, sending a sparse glance in Alec’s direction, seeing his best friend still lying in the same position before, sound asleep. An endeared smile finds its way onto Magnus’ lips as he walks downstairs, stumbling into everyone except for the actual Ligtwood siblings looking through a book on the coffee table.

“Hey Magnus,” Simon beams around a mouthful of coffee.

It’s at this greeting that everyone looks up, sending him a warm welcome and it’s then and there that Magnus feels his heart overflow with xenia.

“Hi sweetheart,” Maryse says, looking at him with only kindness, “We’re looking through the photo albums. Is Alec still sleeping?”

Magnus nods, moving to sit opposite to the other family on the floor. He crosses his legs beneath him, aurous eyes focusing on the picture before him.

It’s a picture of baby Alec, looking as though he’s just saved himself from tripping— judging by his body position and the satisfied grin on his lips. His lips pull into a grin, letting out a coo.

“Alec was very clumsy—“ Maryse begins, only to be cut off by Magnus’.

“I watched him trip over the edge of the coffee table going to get coffee yesterday morning,” Magnus snorts, and he’s sure his eyes betray the adoration he’s trying to suppress, “I can assure you he’s still clumsy.”

He almost shrink from the embarrassment of interrupting Maryse, but relaxes when everyone laughs.

“I like this one,” His Abuela murmurs, grinning for ear to ear, “Good for _Mi Tesoro_.”

Magnus grins, averting his eyes back to the scrapbook, smiling at every picture of Alec they stumble across.

There’s soft padding into the room behind him before Alec hunkers down beside Magnus, still wearing the sweats he’d slept in, glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

He holds out a horribly painted purple mug with uncharacteristically poor handwriting spelling out his best friend’s name.

“What is this?” He inquires, titling to look in the mug as Alec settles his head onto Magnus shoulder.

“Coffee. No sugar, and almond milk,” Alec murmurs, voice still thick with sleep, “Would’ve taken you to the coffee shop but I’m too tired right now.”

“Thank you,” Magnus breathes, and he can hear how soft and loving his voice has become but he can’t be bothered to hide it, “This is perfect, darling.”

Alec lets out a noncommittal hum, and Magnus holds up the mug to Alec, who takes a sip, before droning out a soft, “Thanks.”

“Did you forget to get yourself some?” Magnus questions, amused.

“Mm,” He mutters around a yawn, nodding against Magnus shoulder, “It’s fine though. Not ready to be awake yet anyway.”

Ignoring the way the family had stopped looking at the photo album, Magnus lets his eyes fall back on a picture of Alec in the bathtub with Isabelle, both of them with soap beards and hats.

Soon enough, Alec becomes a familiar deadweight against Magnus’ side, breaths evening out. There’s shuffling from Jace’s bedroom above, and the sound of a shower. It’s then that Abuela tells the group that she’s going to start breakfast.

Magnus offers to help, but she just waves him off, eyes falling on the dozing grandson that has slowly made his way down to rest on Magnus’ thigh.

“You look too comfortable,” She proclaims, and Magnus can see from the twinkle in her eyes that she knows Magnus is utterly enamoured with Alec, “Who am I took take that away.”

Magnus sends her a secretive, but incredibly grateful smile, thanking her before she winks and heads off to the kitchen.

Alec comes to about a hour later, with Magnus’ fingers tangled in his hair.

“How long was I out?” His voice is raspy and unbearably adorable, and lilting with a bit of an accent that isn’t normally there.

“A little over a hour, breakfast is ready and Isabelle just came down.” Magnus runs his fingers over Alec’s shoulder, watching as he becomes more and more awake with each passing second.

“Do you want to go get coffee at Smithy’s?” Alec murmurs, pushing himself up to sit, slipping his glasses back on, “I meant to take you there, but I think I fell asleep before I could say anything.”

“You brought it up,” Magnus says softly, “But you made me coffee here, and that was more than enough.”

“Tomorrow?” Alec asks, and Magnus prays he’s not misjudging the bit of hope in Alec’s eyes.

“Tomorrow.” Magnus confirms with a nod, patting Alec’s chest, “As for now, I smell pancakes.”

Alec chuckles softly, taking Magnus’ hand to stand, and they walk into the kitchen together.

“Hey!” Jace drawls, feigning annoyance “Snoring beauty is finally awake, now I can eat food.”

“I don’t snore,” Alec denies, a grin curling on his lips, “I breathe deeply. There’s a difference.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night—“ and if Jace gets hit in the face with a pancakes? Well, perhaps that’s exactly what he deserves.

  
Hours later, Magnus and Alec walk along the beach in a comfortable silence, occasionally exchanging banter. But that’s one of the things Magnus loves most about Alec, that they don’t have to make things cause comfortable; they just are.

When Magnus decides to be brave and walk along the shore, Alec holds his hand to tether Magnus, ensuring he doesn’t get swept up but anxiety or the tidal waves around him.

“You know,” Alec states gently, once they’ve sat down at the base of the shoreline, water rushing around them, “I’m going to teach you how to swim. I don’t really want a repeat of our first meeting.”

Magnus smirks, thinking of the memory, “Did I ever tell you why I actually did that?”

Alec’s eyebrows furrow as he looks into Magnus’ eyes, “I thought you were dared?”

“Yes, but I wasn’t dared to jump of the diving board,” Magnus says softly, resting his head on Alec’s shoulder, “I was dared to get the hot lifeguards attention.”

Alec barks out a surprised laugh, shaking his head at Magnus’ intentions, “I’d buy that,” and after a long minute he adds, “I’m really glad you almost drowned, if it’s any consolation.”

Magnus shoves him to the side playfully, rolling his eyes.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Alec states as a matter of fact, “I would’ve saved even if I hadn’t wanted to.”

They lapse into silence at that, until Magnus wraps his arms around himself, trying to rub warmth into himself.

But then Alec is holding open the hood of his sweatshirt for Magnus’ head to fit through. He accepts the extra warmth with ease, thanking Alec softly before they revert back into silence.

Magnus watches as Alec shuffles to lay on his back, letting what little sun pokes through the clouds engulf him; Magnus can’t help but notice how angelic he looks.

And then he has a thought, “Alexander?”

Alec opens his eyes, glancing up at Magnus to acknowledge that he heard the beginning of Magnus’ question.

“Is English your first language?” He questions, feeling like an idiot for not asking sooner. He hears the way Alec’s words slur with and accent when he’s exhausted after an all nighter and he’s heard the curses when he stubs his toe in the middle of the night.

“Yes and no,” Alec responds after a pause, “I learned Spanish and English at the same time. Kids at school used to make fun of my accent though, so I tried to make it sound more American. Izzy told me that when I’m exhausted it’ll still come out though.”

Magnus nods in confirmation. “This morning when you woke up, your words had a bit more to them than normal.”

“Oh,” Alec blurts simply, shrugging. “Cool.”

Just as Magnus is about to join Alec in lying on the sand, a crack of thunder rings through the sky and rain begins to pour.

It takes a moment for Alec to do anything, but when he does, its logical of course; he yelps out some unholy words, helps Magnus off, and races off towards his house.

By time they’re out of the rain, they’re absolutely soaked, rain water dripping from their clothes onto the floor of the Lightwood’s mudroom.

Alec shakes his head, droplets flying from his hair before they start giggling.

“Only us,” Magnus blurts, setting Alec’s hoodie on the hook to dry.

Alec only grins back at him, before muttering something about showering.

And if Magnus’ eyes find the ripple of Alec’s abs from under his shirt where it clings from the wetness, no one has to know.

Except maybe Abuela, who catches the glance and sends him a wink and he and Alec disappear up the stairs, still holding hands.

Magnus is sitting on Alec’s bed in a pair of sweats when the lights flicker. After a moment, the room goes pitch black.

He purses his lips, nodding just as he hears a curse and a thunk from the bathroom.

“Are you okay?” Manus calls, voice directed towards the sound.

“My dignity is bruised,” Alec shouts back, before opening the bathroom door in a pair of boxers.

Magnus has to look away; and he knows that. But, unfortunately, he cannot. Alec, ever oblivious, doesn’t notice.

As the law student slips into a pair of sweats, Isabelle shoves his door open, camping light in hand and fiancé in tow.

“Come downstairs, Luke started a fire and mom’s pulling out the game boards. Magnus, you too.”

“Lemme get some blankets, we’ll meet you down there _Hermana_ ,” Alec replies, before turning to the drawers in his closet.

He pulls on a pair of socks, hoisting up a mountain of blankets, in advance to leading Magnus down the stairs.

They all settle down on the couches, playing games while Alec reads through his law text, flashlight in hand. After a few hours, the lightwood siblings and friends begin dropping off, either cuddling or near each other. Magnus is hit with a sudden feeling of sadness— he’d never realised how much he’d missed out on as an only child until now.

He knows Alec observes his mood change, because within a matter of seconds there’s a warm hand on his upper arm; the physical affection is followed by Alec gingerly inquiring if he’s okay.

Magnus sends Alec an affirmation, sending the biggest smile he can muster before laying down, head on Alec’s stomach.

“Read to me,” He finds himself humming out after they’ve returned to a comforting silence.

“It’s law,” Alec states, azures flickering from the book to Magnus’ face, “You’ll probably hate it.”

“That’s okay, I want to hear it.”

The smile on Alec’s face is worth it, and if anything the book helps him sleep.

What they don’t see, however, is how when the book slips onto Alec’s chest, flashlight falling to the floor, Maryse picks it up, putting it on the table to the side. She looks over the room, serenity only interrupted by her eldest, son in law, and adopted‘s quiet snores.

She makes it to the kitchen before she breaks, tears trailing down her cheeks. Luke finds her there and wraps her up in his arms.

“Maryse, what’s happened?” He asks softly, rubbing a comforting hand over her back.

“I didn’t realise,” She croaks, “I’ve never seen him so happy. I never realised what I was doing to my baby. He was so alone and I never even saw it.”

“You’re a different person. You can see it now, you can’t blame yourself for being in the dark,” He sussurates, kissing her forehead.

“I just wish a could’ve been a different person all those years ago,” She murmurs back, looking at her eldest through the doorway.

Luke sits with her as she weeps for the person she could’ve been, and reassures her that everything happens for a reason.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i genuinely forgot i had this, however, someone left some very lovely comments last night so i came back to update! i know it’s brief but it’s all I had down at the moment and i wanted to put into out for you! Alec’s birthday celebrations to come tho!

Magnus wakes when he feels a less than painful pillow hit him at an uncomfortable speed. He peeks his eyes open, glaring over a Jace, who is blinking at him with wide eyes, ready to flee. 

_That’s right, be scared._ Magnus thinks distantly, _I could beat you up._

“I was trying to hit Alec,” Jace blurts, before adding, “Throw the pillow back and move.” 

Magnus looks at him owlishly, grabbing the pillow before looking back at his best friend. His head is turned towards Magnus, lips parted, and his raven hair is a complete bird’s nest on his head. 

Magnus looks down at the pillow once more, and then he moves his gaze over to Jace. He can see it in Clary’s eyes that she knows what he’s going to do before Jace does. She suppresses a smile, until Magnus whips the pillow back in Jace’s directions. Isabelle and Simon join her in the wheezing laughs that follow. 

And then, Magnus settles back down, head resting on Alec’s chest and back facing the rest of the delinquents behind him. 

“Magnus—“ Jace starts, ready to pounce once more. 

“Go back to sleep.” 

Magnus waits a long few minutes before Jace starts snoring again, his friends following in suit though he’s too far awake to begin to even think about falling asleep again. 

There’s movement in the kitchen’s general area, and out of curiosity alone, Magnus follows the noises. 

He shuffles into the kitchen, sitting down on the stool as Maryse rushes around. She stops for a brief moment, smiling at Magnus, before continuing her spread of food. 

“Is the birthday boy still asleep?” She asks softly, and though she’s looking at her work, Magnus can see the fondness in her eyes. 

“Yeah. I loathe for when he wakes up though. He’s going to complain about is back for the next year and a half,” Magnus mutters, thanking Maryse warmly when she sets a coffee in front of him. 

He sips slowly as they talk, and he glances around all of the food before him. 

“Are these all of Alec’s favourites?” Magnus asks softly, and Maryse nods bashfully. “Oh, he’s going to be so happy. He always talks about how much he loves your cooking— are you alright?” 

Magnus sees the somber expressions that’s weaselled its way onto Maryse’s face, “Yeah, I think it’s just this onion....” 

She sniffs, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, returning to chopping vegetables. 

“He really is your son. He does that too,” Magnus declares softly, and it’s like he’s broken a dam. 

Maryse sets down the paring knife, resting her hands firmly against the sink in front of her. Magnus’ heart sinks in his chest, and he rises to his feet, “May I...” 

She nods and he moves around the table, wrapping her in a hug. She weeps softly and Magnus holds her tightly, waiting until she pulls away to speak. 

“Better?” He inquires, hands still grasping her upper arms. 

“I’m sorry,” She sussurates, “I don’t know what came over me.”

“That’s alright, darling,” He says softly, and he knows his eyebrows are furrowed in concern, “I find that talking about things tends to make it better, but if you’d rather just talk about something else— or sit in silence, that’s fine too.”

Maryse waves her hand dismissively, and Magnus returns his butt to the stool, “I stopped cooking when Alec was about fourteen... And I can see the exact moment he came downstairs for dinner, saw me sitting there, drinking coffee, and his little shoulders just fell. I didn’t realise it then, but that wouldn’t be the last time I saw that look from him.” 

Maryse glances up, and she must see the confusion on Magnus face, because she adverts her eyes and continues on, “My mother always said that the best way we can show our love is by cooking, and I didn’t realise at the time that was the first time he felt neglected by me.”

Magnus nods sympathetically, sipping at his coffee as she speaks her truth

“If it’s any consolation,” He says softly, reaching out to squeeze her hand, “Alec loves you. Endlessly.” 

“Sometimes I wonder if he has too much love to give,” Maryse breathes, blinking away her tears, “If it tears him down? I remember when he’d come back from his his first semester of college, and we’d gotten into this fight over the phone. He walked in the house, looked at me, and his eyes darted away so quickly and he went up the stairs.” 

Magnus listens, and Maryse finds her way to the stool beside him. Fingers find their way to the hem of her dress; and the gesture is so painfully Alec that Magnus has no doubt on how much she has impacted his best friend. 

“He came down a bit later, and I was still working on whatever I had been doing. He was so... hesitant? So painfully unsure of his movements that it’s like Alec wasn’t even there at all. He asked me for a hug, and by God, I should’ve given him the hug— you should’ve seen how much his hands were shaking. But instead, I told him that he was to get his brother and sister down, and go to get groceries.”

There’s fresh tears on her face as she tells Magnus, and he listens, focused on her and only her, because this is a story far too important to go unheard. 

“And when he came back after Robert and I split— I made dinner. And Alec— my baby— he looked at it for a long moment, like he couldn’t believe it,” She croaks. 

She inhaled a shuddering breath, wiping her tears again only for the scorching paths to return. 

“We had been missing a place because Max was at camp, and I failed to tell them— and by the angel. What little life was in his eyes drained, and he nodded. He told me he’d get Max for supper, and he’d go study. I never realised that he had— my beautiful boy— had thought that I wouldn’t set a place out for him.” 

She looks out the window that lies behind the sink, before murmuring, “And every time he came home he’d try to make amends— that he didn’t even need to make. And I would turn him down.” 

Her bottom lips trembles, and she shakes her head, finally meeting his gaze. Her next words are said with so much power and assertion that Magnus believes her throughly. 

“I won’t fail again,” She proclaims, “Not now. And not ever.” 

“It was a learning experience,” Magnus whispers, “Not a failure. Besides I think he turned out pretty well.”

She lets out a watery laugh, taking Magnus’ hand and squeezing it. 

“Mom?” Alec asks, walking from the direction of the living room. “Were you crying?” 

“Of course not, sweetheart.”

Without saying a word Alec closes the space, helping his mother to her feet before wrapping her in a hug.

Magnus watches how she clings to him, Alec’s hold tightening and back tense with worry. When the break apart, cerulean eyes search his mother’s face for anything that should tell him otherwise

“You sure you’re okay?” He presses once more, voice soft and concerned. 

Maryse gives a nod, one that seems to satisfy Alec enough to back down from the investigation. 

“Happy birthday,” Magnus declares, before he can stop himself, “You’re a quarter of a century!” 

Alec’s eyebrows furrow with confusion, and there’s a brief current of hurt through his eyes— though he masks it well

“It’s not my birthday,” He murmurs, befuddled. 

“Yeah it is?” Magnus states as a matter of fact, or at least tries, though it comes out as more of a question. 

“No it’s not, here—“ Alec walks to the wall that joins the kitchen and one of the offices many rooms in the house. 

Alec pauses, glancing at the calendar, just before he blurts, “Oh, _shit_ , well Happy Birthday to me.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops my fingers slipped

It all starts with a wish. 

As Magnus and Alec lie in Alec childhood room, quiet breaths beginning to trail into soft snores Magnus is plagued by one thought— and he’s not certain as to why but he desperately craves the answer. 

“Alexander?” Magnus calls softly, and though in the back of his mind he knows Alec’s a light sleeper, he tries to tell himself his best friend won’t wake. 

But as always, he does, humming in discourse, huffing out a sigh and lulling his head to the left to face him. His eyes are still closed and he’s sill very clearly on the precipice of sleep. 

“What did you wish for?” Magnus queries, lips quirked into a fond smile at Alec’s evident exhaustion. 

Fondness, however, quickly turns to concern when his ever blunt and honest best friend shakes his head as he did earlier, all prior playfulness gone. 

“Stop asking,” He mumbles, rolling over, back to his best friend. 

“Alec, it won’t stop it from coming true. Just tell me,” Magnus states, and edge that he doesn’t mean hissing out on each syllable. 

“Magnus, leave it alone. It doesn’t matter,” Alec grunts back, scooting further away. And while Magnus knows he should stop pushing, he can’t help the curiosity prickling under his skin and whirring in his stomach.

“Alec, we tell each other everything.”

It’d between the moment his words leave his lips and the next that he knows he has royally screwed up. Alec’s frame tenses, and Magnus’ mouth snaps shut.

“Alec I’m—“ the words die on his lips when Alec pushes himself up, snagging his pillow off of the sheets beneath. 

The worst part is, in fact, when Alec meets his gaze with a cold glare, mouth pursed in a thin line. 

“ _Shit_ , Alec, wait I didn’t— _Alec_ —“ 

The door slams behind his best friend and he feels his heart sink in his chest. He presses the heels of his hands hard into his eyes cursing himself for pulling the cards he just had. 

There’s three hesitant knocks on Jace’s door as Clary slides on a pair of fluffy socks, shower-soaked hair hanging over Jace’s old soccer jersey. 

“Yeah?” The blond replies from under the sheets,Math analysis book in hand and glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. 

The door slips open to reveal Alec, looking incredibly disheveled and gripping a miscellaneous pillow in his shaking fingertips. 

“You alright?” He questions, as Clary settles against chest. 

“Can I...” Alec trails off, eyes looking absolutely anywhere but Jace— but he doesn’t have his glasses on, so Jace doubts he’d even see him anyways. “Can I sleep on your floor?”

Jace sends a glance to the other end of the bed, moving over a bit closer to the left side of the bed, “You can sleep up here, buddy, there’s plenty of space for Clary and I.”

Alec gnaws on his bottom lip, and the gesture is so painfully reminiscent of the Alec he’d hoped was gone for good, his heart wrenches in his chest, “Are you sure? I don’t wanna impede—“ 

“You’re _always_ welcome here,” Clary interrupts, sending a smile at her brother in law, “You’re my best friend and this is your house anyways.” 

A small smile quirks Alec’s lips up, and Clary beams back brightly at him. He slowly stalks across the room, settling down in a small ball on the edge of the bed. 

“You can spread out,” Clary whispers kindly, nuzzling into her husbands chest. 

“It’s okay,” Alec mutters, gripping the edge of his pillow, “Thank you— for letting me stay here.” 

“ _Always_ ,” Jace declares softly, patting Alec’s shoulder whilst sharing a worried look with his Wife. 

And they both stay away until hitched breaths turn into a gentle snuffles , before finally dissolving into sleepy, and calmed breaths. 

“You think he and Magnus are okay?” Clary sussurates, glancing up at Jace. 

The blonde only shakes his head, squeezing Clary’s waist a bit tighter, “I haven’t seen him like this since he came out.” 

“That’s okay,” She soothes, “It’s Magnus and Alec. They _always_ work _everything_ out.” 

Maryse was having a wonderful morning— that is until she went to check on her eldest to find Magnus sleeping fitfully and his pillow gone from the bed. 

She next checked Isabelle’s room, to no avail, in advance to pushing open Jace’s door to find a sight that both melted and shattered her heart

Clary and Jace lie wrapped together on the left-most side of the bed, Jace snoring softly and Clary sleeping right through it. One of her adopted son’s hands wrapped tightly around Clary’s waist. 

His free hand, however, covers the distance between himself and Alec— who lies with his back facing his brother and sister in law— to rest in Alec’s. 

She wonders briefly, how many times they’d slept like this without her knowing, one of them comforting the other like a lifeline while she ignored them. 

She clears the thoughts quickly though, taking a deep breath in before shaking her head. 

Whatever had happened, would absolve. 

_This is Alec and Magnus._

When Magnus wakes, there’s shuffling near him and he peeks open his eyes to find Alec tugging a pair of khakis over his boxers. 

“Alec?” He stammers, watching as Alec’s muscles string tightly, figure quickly seizing up, “I’m _so_ sorry.” 

His best friend snaps out of his trance, but doesn’t say anything, sorting through his duffle bag for a pair of socks. 

Alec’s silence was worse than anything to Magnus, because Alec doesn’t raise his voice, he only wallows in silence, frustrated with himself and the things around him.

Magnus rises to his feet, pulling at the hem of his— _well_ , _Alec’s_ shirt before standing to the side of the door. 

If there is one rule, it’s that you never block Alec’s mean of exit. That’s an absolute recipe for disaster in the form of a panic attack. 

“Alec, please, talk to me,” He pleads, watching as Alec meticulously cuffs the edge of his jeans, slipping on his socks, “Just day something.” 

“ _You_.” 

Alec doesn’t meet his eyes, rising to his feet. 

“I... I beg your pardon?” Magnus stumbles over his words, eyebrows furrowing. 

“You,” Alec states simply, “I wished for you. To always be _my_ other half.” 

“I _am_ your other half,” Magnus blurts, confusedly, “I _always_ will—“ 

“No,” Alec truncates his words, shaking his head as azure eyes bore into golden ones, “To be my other half. I love you.” 

Magnus heart jumps to his throat, and he chokes on his next words, but Alec isn’t looking at him to know that, “I love you.” 

“ _No_ ,” He wheezes out, “I _love_ you.“ 

“I know what you mean,” Magnus assures, taking a step closer, “And I _love_ you.”

When Alec moves to look at him Magnus heart halts in his chest, once thundering rhythm now still and silent compared to the blood rushing in his ears. 

Alec is precariously close to crying, and Magnus can see it in everything he does. From the red the rims his eyes— to the salty tears that gather in his lashes, to the way his bottom lip quivers slightly. 

He shudders on his inhale before shrugging faintly, “I love you. _Non platonically_.” 

And then just as he’s about to leave, Magnus stops him, pressing their lips together before separating when Alec melts into his arms, shaking with silent sobs. 

“I _love_ you _too_ , Darling,” He coos, sinking to the floor with Alec, smoothing down raven locks of hair, “ _Non platonically_.” 

And the teary laugh he receives is _more_ than worth the statement.


End file.
